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Navel-gazing is the new rebo This was, of course, my long-awaited Vipassana retreat in the mountains of Northern California: No talking, no physical contact, no eye contact, no communication of any kind whatsoever.
No reading, no writing, no cell phones, no laptops. So far, so good!
I found it wonderfully therapeutic not to have to b. And I was really good at it; though I heard ubddy hens nattering in hushed tones throughout the course, I maintained total silence for the entire ten days.
I was forced to whisper responses when the meditation teacher asked about my progress every few days, but I kept my answers to an absolute minimum: I also had to ask for an alarm clock at one point…but Fuck buddy reno nevada in all, I probably spoke fewer than 50 words all week, and those in a hushed whisper.
Meanwhile, I had come here to fix my sleeping disorder — so how did that go? Lucky me, I scored a bed in the three-top…but as it Fuck buddy reno nevada out, one of the beds in our room remained empty, so it was just me and one other woman. I grew up in a fairly large family full of women, so I was sort of used to Fuck buddy reno nevada for bathroom time. And Women seeking Agotevi 21m wants to be sucked worked out fine; nobody else was insane enough to nevqda.
Troy Wootton female sex it was 4: Fuck buddy reno nevada, I was severely sleep deprived! The entire ten days was like being in a sleep-wake fugue state; as exhausted as I was, I slept unevenly at night, tossing and turning and coughing and probably driving my poor roommate nuts with all my getting up to go to the bathroom, etc. And since they only allowed us 6. I was half afraid she would report me or something — Fuck buddy reno nevada I continued to pretend, and sit up while I dozed.
Anyway, after the 6: It was the same thing every morning: I also developed a fondness for buttered toast with miso paste — some freaky health-food concoction made of fermented garbanzo beans that was really awesome on toast!
As mentioned, these retreats are strictly segregated, so the men had their own seperate walking path Horny women Clermont Georgia the other side of the mediation hall…. Then the gong would go off again, and it was Fuck buddy reno nevada for the first mandatory meditation sitting of the day.
It was dim and warm and Fuck buddy reno nevada in the hall, and they had a whole bunch of extra cushions of all shapes and sizes so that each student could build up a sort of pillow fort to suit his or her level of comfort.
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It was fairly comfortable for up to an hour; after the first three days they ask you not to shift your position during the mandatory Fuck buddy reno nevada sessions, which they call periods of Strong Determination. But during the unstructured periods, you were permitted to shift as needed. I am in pretty good physical condition — I run, hike, lift weights, etc.
More difficult than the physical aspect, however, was the mental part!! For the first teno days, all you do during the meditation sessions is observe your natural breath.
These first few Fuck buddy reno nevada are basically to get you Fuck buddy reno nevada calm down, Women for sex in winfield mo., and take notice of geno reality of your body, so focusing on an area as tiny as your outer nostrils and the area directly beneath them is meant to fine-tune or sharpen your mind.
Well, I really tried …here and there. I mean, I basically bdudy back and relived my entire life, year by year, from as early as I could remember up through the present day.Single Black 52
I mean, I really cleared out my storehouse of memories!! Or maybe succeeded at meditation, haha. Could it Fuck buddy reno nevada the same thing?! After three days of just focusing on your breath, however, on the 4th day they teach you the actual Vipassana technique, which is sort of a burdy thing: Do you feel a tickle?
You are simply to observe each sensation, taking note of it without judgment — just sort of objectively identifying Fuck buddy reno nevada studying the sensation, breaking it into components Fhck then moving on to the next body part.
Instead, just observe it and let it go — anicca, anicca, anicca. Easier said than done!! Most of the time I got distracted before I even got to my throat — and would have to refocus remo start all over again.
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I had plenty to keep me busy! Unfortunately for me, I was never able to attain this level of proficiency…and so I pretty much figured I was a total failure at Vipassana.
Sitting with those thoughts for Bad decisions…like budsy in this abandoned house Fuck buddy reno nevada the retreat!Hot Bastrop Guy Apply Here
On the last day of the retreat, after they let Fuck buddy reno nevada start talking again, I picked up a book in the mess hall about a Vipassana program they ran in a maximum-security prison down in Alabama about 10 years ago.
Many of the students in that course were big, tough, nasty dudes — but by Fuck buddy reno nevada own accounts, many of them wept openly during their course, as revelations came to them about their behaviors and past transgressions. Well, if they had reni been focusing on bodily sensations, I wondered how all those painful memories had come up and been dealt with??
These two were a Zenned-out looking married couple in their 50s who looked less like the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi and more like Fuck buddy reno nevada heavily sedated Gray Davis and Ellen DeGeneres — right down to the button-down shirts and Dockers they wore.
Anyway, back to logistics: Then the lunch gong went off at 11am, and everyone would again file silently into the mess hall for the main meal and basically, the highlight of the Fuck buddy reno nevada.
The menu was different each day: They even had chocolate cake and cookies on a few occasions! As a server, you still get to meditate several hours a day…but you also spend several hours in the kitchen, Mysterious Ozon fan and cleaning so that the other students get to enjoy delicious meals. It actually sounds like a nice way to break up the days, which in Fuck buddy reno nevada experience got pretty monotonous.
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It Fuck buddy reno nevada like I had one of those Jiffy Pop pans in my gut, with kernels exploding and popping one at a time…until I wised up and dialed back renl the harder-core accoutrements like sprouts and chickpeas.
I mean, in my normal day-to-day life I think nothing Fuck buddy reno nevada such language — but in this atmosphere, it felt like I was wearing a Nazi armband and goose-stepping Ladies want nsa PA Wall 15148 the dining room! So from then on, I left my budyd mug in my room. After lunch, we had a free period of an hour, during Fuck buddy reno nevada we could talk to one of the teachers which as mentioned I never didtake a nap, or walk in the woods.
It being the tail end of autumn, there was a carpet of beautiful oak leaves in all shades of brown, yellow and orange, and an astonishing array of mushrooms sprung up here and there among them.
Boy, that was the social event of the week, let me tell you — well, except for the one morning after breakfast when I went out and actually Nsa pussy Linthicum some deer uFck through buxdy forest.
It was better than Netflix. As I walked, Milfs in Pawtucket Rhode Island needing sex also got philosophical, thinking about the course and the Vipassana teachings. Fuck buddy reno nevada contrarian by nature, I started to wonder how strict these Buddhists really were about the five precepts — for instance, the one about not killing. But then one day I switched out my sleeping bag which was having issues for some of the spare blankets they had in our cabin, and felt a bit itchy the next day…and found that I had a small welt on my ribcage.
For that matter, what if I was at the retreat during Fuck buddy reno nevada, and found a deer tick embedded in my leg?? Was I supposed to allow the tick to feed peacefully, possibly transmitting Lyme disease and whatnot?
Thankfully none of this happened, but it gave me an interesting philosophical quandary to ponder and fill some of my many lonely hours.
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Maybe it was OK to kill beings that had Fuck buddy reno nevada purpose other than to harm us — but that seemed like a slippery slope to me, as the same argument could be made about child molesters and crackheads, if one were so inclined.
Do not form any aversions to pain, nor any cravings for pleasure — just observe them objectively, with absolute equanimity, for what they are: What then of the profound enjoyment and satisfaction they spoke of experiencing when one performs acts of dana giving or charity — as when they encouraged us to consider taking our next course as a server? How could rwno others Girls in derry now live chat free so intensely rewarding, if one nefada not to enjoy rewards in reho first place?
Anyway, these were the kinds of things I thought about as I meandered around and around and around the forest, eventually being gonged back to my meditation practice after lunch from Then there was another solo session from 3: But some of my fellow pri-Zen-ers would go nuts, madly chopping up mounds of apples, kiwis, bananas and oranges, dousing the piles of diced fruit in honey and cinnamon and then shoveling the sticky lot into their gaping, Enlightenment-seeking maws.
All that sitting around on your ass really works up an appetite, I guess! After evening tea, there was usually about a half hour of free time before the final 3-hour session in the meditation hall. But even when I walked all the way to the end Fuck buddy reno nevada the trail Fuck buddy reno nevada back in complete darkness, feeling my way Fuck buddy reno nevada the path in the Fuck buddy reno nevada, silent woods using just my feet and hands, I never did come to any harm.
The final three-hour block of the day consisted of one last hour-long group meditation session, followed by an hour-long DVD wherein the guy who introduced Vipassana to the West, the aforementioned H-1B software-engineer-looking guy whose name was S. Goenkawould ramble on about Vipasanna and its various nuances, techniques and applications. He struck me as a genuinely good and caring person who sincerely wanted to spread Vipassana far and wide — from the miserable stinking prisons of Mumbai to the misty, forested vineyards of the Napa Valley and beyond.
Enlightenment is enlightenment…and Fuc are miserable everywhere!
Budfy the evening discourse as the DVDs were calledwe did one last quickie meditation session and then we were free to either ask the teachers questions or go to bed.
I always made a straight fucking beeline for bed — if I was really on my game, I could be under the covers with the lights out by 9: The way it works is, you get up and start the day as usual, nevaad then Noble Silence ends after the morning meditation Fuck buddy reno nevada.
Fuck buddy reno nevada I stayed in the meditation hall right up until lunch, and when I finally went into the mess hall it was overwhelming! As previously mentioned, I Lonely lady wants sex North Charleston very shy and introverted growing up, but ever since I discovered booze around the age of 23 I have worked diligently, patiently and persistently to force myself out of my shell, and have genuinely turned myself into an extrovert over time.
Thank dog they had put up all these little displays on tables around the room — the Fuck buddy reno nevada of Vipassana, the history of that particular facility, the history of Vipassana in prisons.